On January 8th, I went on what seems like my thirtieth Tinder date. Like the preceding 29 other dates, we met up at a bar for a few quick drinks during happy hour.
I thought the first month was going to be the hardest because it was something so different and new, but as it turns out, maintaining a relationship is hard work and it doesn’t stop after 30 days.
I have to be honest; I never thought when I started writing about my relationship that I would make it to six months. Three months were even a stretch for me. This isn’t saying that I felt my relationship was doomed from the start, it simply means that since I am a relationship novice, I figured I would have fucked it up by now.
But I didn’t!
When trying to decide what I wanted to write about for my 6th month anniversary, I knew that it had to be something encouraging, relatable, impactful and (most importantly) celebratory.
The sixth month of my relationship brought many great things to celebrate. For starters, I got my very own one bedroom apartment! This is the first time in my life I am living alone and I can’t tell you how happy I am. At first I thought it was going to get lonely and I would start to crave the need and want of a roommate. But, I have realized it’s so nice and refreshing to come home to an empty apartment, throw my clothes wherever I want, and blast Lisa Loeb while I eat hot pockets on my couch. #tuesdays
Another exciting event that happened this month was that my boyfriend got a brand new job! After months of freelancing at numerous companies, he was offered a full time position with a publishing company and I couldn’t be any prouder. It was rough watching him go through the interview process, trying to find a job that not only loved him, but one that he loved just as much.
And on top of my new apartment and his new job, it was also my boyfriends 26th birthday this month, one more reason to celebrate!
This is the first time in my life that I have dated someone who was younger than me, so I would always bring it up to everyone we met, leaving my boyfriend aggravated. He would always get so mad at me when I would say I am robbing the cradle, pretending that our 2.5 year age difference was a much more significant gap. I would always tease him, “I bet you don’t even know who New Kids on the Block are or what a tamigatchi is!” But he did.
I feel that 6 months is a milestone for any relationship – especially a gay one. We got to know everything about each other, from our idiosyncrasies (he wears socks to bed and I wake up in the middle of the night to make sure I turned the oven off) to when we need space. We've loved, we fought, and we learned how to communicate. I learned how to share a bed and he learned how to appreciate Outback Steakhouse. And I am so happy at where him and I are today.
I was thinking earlier that over the course of the six months we have been together, we have gone from really highs to really lows, both personally and together. When we first met, we were both a little confused on where our lives were going. Where were we going to live next? What do we want to do for a living? Where should we eat dinner? It also seemed that our happiness schedules were never in sync, but finally this month we are both extremely happy in our careers, our personal life, and our relationship.
And who wouldn’t want to celebrate that?
A REASON TO CELEBRATE
WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR SIX MONTHS
My boyfriend and I have been together for a full 90 days, and in most scenarios when you are trying to get used to or adjust to something, many experts say 90 days is all it takes.
I have never said, “I love you” to someone that wasn’t a family member, friend, or Red Lobster employee. It’s not that I was afraid to; it’s just that I never really felt that way for someone.
Growing up as an only child was amazing. I loved not having someone to share things with. But now there are a few minor qualities I never really had to learn until I got into a relationship: to compromise.
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